


I'm A Cancer To Myself, Is It Over Now?

by FiendMaz



Series: Oceans Will Part In This War Of Hearts [11]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Character Development, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Hurt Magnus Bane, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Light Angst, M/M, Missions Gone Wrong, Protective Isabelle Lightwood, Protective Magnus Bane, Sad Alec, Self-Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 09:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7527217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiendMaz/pseuds/FiendMaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus gets dragged into another mission with Alec and the group only to find themselves severely outnumbered. Still weak from overexerting himself the other day, Magnus takes it upon himself to make the most self-sacrificing decision he's ever made to save the Nephilim.</p><p>The question is, how does Alec react?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm A Cancer To Myself, Is It Over Now?

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from a song called Blanket by Oh Be Clever.
> 
> It's a good song and matches well with the overall feeling of this fic. :)

_I can’t keep pulling the blanket up over my head._

_Keep pulling’ the same shit over and over again._

*~*~*~*

 

The moon waned as the night wore on, light wind and rustling filling the empty street lit by yellow lamps. Nearing December, New York City evenings were dipping far below freezing making after-midnight strolls no longer a thing to do.

The lack of mundanes would usually make it a quiet and lonely night but Magnus was thankful for it at this moment. He was carrying a slumbering Alexander in his arms. His arms that were starting to freeze beneath his leather jacket which did nothing to keep him warm.

Practically the only warmth he was getting were from the body he was holding and Isabelle’s warmth emanating from her slender form as she walked beside him, holding her brother’s hand with a worried expression..

At the pier, Magnus had been helping the drug run its full course with what little magic he had left when Alexander promptly started sleeping. It was rather amusing since the warlock was still in a high after being graced by the boy's passionate and caring words so he happily took on to being the prince to his princess. Not that he minded much, obviously. Aside from the fact that he was bone tired, any excuse to touch Alexander was welcome.

It was definitely fun seeing Isabelle and Clary’s expressions and he wished he could have videoed the whole affair for Alexander to see when he woke. He was pretty sure the boy wouldn’t have liked that though so it was perhaps a good thing he wasn’t able to.

“Magnus, are you really sure we can’t treat him back at the Institute?”

Grimacing, he turned to the Lightwood girl. “I’d love to allow it, Isabelle, but Alexander has been bitten and I need to get rid of it. I have a potion in my lair that will do the trick then you can bring him home.”

Isabelle sighed. “You really don’t have magic left?”

Magnus didn’t deem her question with a response. Honestly, he wouldn’t lie about it. He hated admitting any form of weakness. Between the Dumort attack and saving Alexander, he literally didn’t have any magic left. It was gradually pooling inside him again but without rest, he wouldn’t be able to function properly enough.

“Sorry.” Isabelle apologised. “I just feel bad sending Clary back alone. She’s still new and well, I don’t know how she’ll explain how everything went.” She shrugged. “At least Lydia’s officially the Head and not our parents.”

“Oh?” Magnus raised a brow. For all that Alexander talked about missions and patrols, there wasn’t much information about the Institute. Something he had to do something about soon. Being kept in the dark wasn’t something he liked. “How is she?”

“You mean as the Head?” Isabelle tilted her head. “She’s pretty great actually. I mean, she was always great but I’m starting to see what Alec did since the beginning. She really has our back and she’s been very lenient and stretches the Law as much as she can so that she can avoid any of us getting into trouble. It’s like having a big sister, almost. She even keeps our parents off our backs sometimes.”

“She sounds lovely.” Magnus smiled. “If your brother weren’t gay, they would’ve made a great couple.”

“Yeah… yeah, they would.” Isabelle admitted. “Even if they aren’t married, it’s kind of like they are the way she’s taking care of our group. She riles up mother real good too and it’s satisfying seeing how mother can’t answer back because Lydia was sent by the Clave and mother can’t afford to lose face to any member of the Clave.”

Magnus laughed. “Sounds like Lydia and I would get along very well.”

Isabelle beamed. “You would! She adores you. Apparently you and her ancestor were close.”

“Ah, Henry Branwell. Yes. We created the portal together.” As they approached the gate of Magnus’ building, it swung open and they trudged up the stairs together, the loft’s door welcoming them much the same.

Isabelle walked ahead and took away the pillows on the couch then busied herself by looking around.

Magnus carefully laid Alexander down on the plush furniture and headed straight for his potion room, immediately plucking the vial he needed. Luckily, the past month and so of waiting for Alexander’s texts about patrols and missions had led him to stop accepting appointments with clients so he had taken up potion making and text translating during his free time.

He entered his living room again to find Alexander tucked in under a royal purple blanket and Isabelle sitting on top of his glass coffee table yet again holding her brother’s hand. Magnus approached the couch immediately, opening the vial with a popping sound and swiping up the goop with his pinkie.

Isabelle made a face when he slathered the potion on the bite by Alexander’s neck. “Will that make it disappear?”

“Yes.” Magnus assured. “Vampire saliva has healing properties so it would have gone away eventually. Given how we plan on keeping Alexander’s kidnapping a secret though, we can’t afford to wait. In about an hour or so, you can both go home.”

Isabelle hung her head back looking pensive.

Magnus furrowed his brow at her for a moment then decided to get them some tea. It was an automatic process for him to fill the pot with hot water, steep tea leaves and pluck out his best porcelain tea cups. The whole thing was cathartic – a fact he wouldn’t admit out loud – and something he had been doing a lot recently.

There had been a whole list of things he’d been doing the past month and few days that he wouldn’t normally. Who knew a Nephilim would disrupt his peaceful life so much? Still, it was better than the ghost of a life he had before.

When the right amount of time had passed, Magnus poured the tea into the tea cups and immediately went to offer one to Isabelle who was transfixed with his ceiling. And while he always boasted about how gorgeous his loft was, he doubted it was _that_ interesting.

“Something wrong, Isabelle?”

Isabelle sighed then looked at him and smiled softly. “Call me Izzy.”

“Izzy.” Magnus repeated graciously.

“It’s just… you keep calling the Institute ‘home’.”

Magnus nodded slowly and took a long sip from his tea.

“But it isn’t.” Izzy frowned. “It’s where we live and grew up but… it’s not… it’s not home.” She gulped some tea. “It never _felt_ like home. My brothers – they’re home. They’re all the home I’ve known.”

“It’s really… something else, your love for each other. I’ve never seen a group of siblings love each other so fiercely.” Magnus complimented whole-heartedly.

Izzy smiled. “They’re all I have. Dad is great but he never really protects any of us from mother. Not like Alec. Mother is just –,” She rolls her eyes. “ _Mother_.”

Magnus smiled indulgently and cast a glance at Alexander. “Your brother is special.”

“Yeah.” Izzy bit her lip. “I guess it’s stupid but I never truly understood and appreciated everything he’s done for us until I was put on trial. He was there for me, fighting and protecting me. Something my parents should’ve done but they didn’t even care. They didn’t even come back for their daughter’s trial.” Her voice was brittle with bitterness. “Alec is everything to me. I’ll protect him harder than before and I won’t care if my parents won’t allow me to, I’ll do it anyway. They never cared about us so why should I care what they say or want?”

Magnus licked his lips nervously. He hated Maryse and Robert ever since they tried to kill him and the way they treated their children did nothing to assuage his hatred. However, he couldn’t exactly let his own feelings get in the way of how he handled the current situation.

There were times he hated being old and wise and responsible.

“Izzy, I’m sure your parents love you.” It was as comforting as he could get without outright lying. He was pretty sure Maryse wanted to run as far as she could away from the disgrace of a trial, not even caring about her daughter. Robert, on the other hand, was just a pawn under Maryse’s grasp. For all that the woman screamed about the Lightwood glory, she had not even one drop of Lightwood blood in her. Her children had more Lightwood blood in them and more right to the name than she ever would with her wedded union rune.

It was funny how that was.

“Dad does. Mother’s always been disappointed because I befriend Downworlders and I’m not ashamed to be myself.” Izzy frowned. “Alec sometimes doesn’t approve but it’s because he cares. It’s not because I’m ruining his image or because he’s prejudiced like mother.”

Magnus stifled a sigh. He was crap at these sorts of conversations. He wished Alec would wake up. “Your mother loves you in her own unique way. I think Alexander’s brand of love is more pure in the way that he wants you to be free to do as you wish, be who you are. Whereas your mother, I imagine, has a vision about what you and Alexander and Jace have to be so as to be successful in the Clave’s eyes.”

Izzy gave a wry smile. “You understand everything perfectly. Except for one thing.” She wiggled a bit and took out her phone from her pants’ pocket.

“Which one?” Magnus narrowed his eyes against the bright gleam of Izzy’s device which she shoved to his face. There was a little boy on the screen being hugged by Izzy. She was smiling brightly and the little boy was wearing a cheeky expression. The resemblance with Alexander was uncanny and Magnus felt a little sad that Alexander never mentioned he had a little brother. “What’s his name?”

“Max!” Izzy grinned. “He’s a troublemaker like me but a bookworm like big brother. He kind of worships Jace though Max loves big brother the most. I think it’s mostly because Alec allows him to do things he wouldn’t normally so Max feels like he’s special to Alec which he totally is.”

“He sounds like another great Lightwood I’d love to know.” Magnus said fondly and nearly yelped when Izzy grabbed his hand suddenly. “What?”

Izzy’s eyes were wide as she peered at him. “My big brother’s being an idiot, I know. Please put up with him for a bit longer. I am trying to get through to him but he always feels like he has to carry all the weight on his shoulders even when he doesn’t or it’s not his problem but mine or Jace’s.”

Magnus stared at her, mildly flabbergasted.

“Alec has never dated anyone before so he doesn’t know what to do with you. I promise, he’s actually trying. He talks a lot about you and he’s very confused. I just – He’s kind of been avoiding you, I’m sure you’ve noticed.” Izzy pursed her lips as if thinking of what else to say.

“I’ve noticed.” Magnus confirmed quietly.

Izzy looked a bit pained. “It’s not because he’s backtracking or anything. You have no idea how excited he gets when it’s time for a patrol or we have a mission because he knows he’ll get to see you.”

At this piece of information, Magnus found himself smiling softly, his heart aching. “That’s good to know.” He squeezed Izzy’s hand. “Thank you for telling me.” Thinking for a second, he reached over and pulled her in for a hug. “And for trusting me.”

Izzy hugged him back tightly. “Thanks for listening.” They pulled away and she looked at their joined hands. “I’ve never had anyone to tell these things.” Her voice wavered a bit. “I can’t tell Alec. He’s under enough pressure and I’d hate to burden him more. Jace is… well, Jace.” She chuckled wetly. “I’ve told Clary a bit but she’s torn over Jace so…”

Magnus swallowed thickly, extremely touched. “You can come to me any time, Isabelle.”

Izzy looked up and smiled, her eyes shining. “Thanks, Magnus. Thank you.”

 

*~*~*~*

 

The scattered clouds were reflecting orange when Izzy left with Alexander comfortably hanging off her back, still unaware of the world around him. They had both agreed Alexander wouldn’t wake up any time soon and Izzy assured Magnus she was more than capable of carrying her big brother.

Magnus took note of that with a raised brow, holding back an impressed sound at the ease in which she walked whilst having such weight on her person. He should’ve known but Izzy’s good sense of fashion, extremely slim figure and preference of using a whip made him second guess whether or not she ever bothered to gain body strength.

With the remnants of the happy glow he got from his conversation with Izzy, Magnus conference called Raphael and Catarina. His exhaustion seemingly overpowering the adrenaline that had been slowly wearing off ever since he entered his loft hours ago. He wanted his bed so badly.

“What happened?” Raphael asked as soon as he answered the call.

“I won’t be back. I had to get a potion in my lair for Alexander to heal a vampire bite.” Magnus replied, walking towards his bedroom. “There were three rogue vampires. Siblings. I killed them.”

“ _Dios_. Did you have to?”

“Yes.” Magnus didn’t elaborate when he heard the tell-tale sign of Catarina’s call getting through.

“Magnus?”

“Catarina?”

“Raphael?”

“Right. On to business.” Magnus interrupted.

“Business?” Catarina sounded confused. “Magnus, it’s three in the morning.”

“You really expect _me_ to be awake when it’s a reasonable hour?” Raphael asked, amused.

Magnus rolled his eyes. “I need you two to let me finish explaining everything before you question me. Alright?”

“Okay.”

“ _Bueno_.”

Magnus inhaled deeply to steel himself. “Raphael, I need you to tell the Clan the truth about Camille. I can’t have Alexander stay in danger any longer. I’ll take responsibility and vacate my position as the High Warlock of Brooklyn for an indefinite period of time. Catarina, as my second, I need you to replace me temporarily and inform the Institute. Look for Lydia only and tell her I want the Lightwoods to be in the dark about this for as long as possible. I’ll be moving from country to country to collect intel in the meantime.” He licked his lips and waited for his friends to digest his words.

“Alright. I’ll find a way to have them concede to ignore your killing of Camille as thanks for tonight. You saved us. You saved me again and I won’t forget it.” Raphael swore seriously.

Magnus relaxed a bit.

“What happened tonight?” Catarina’s voice came sharply.

“Demons and rogue vampires almost took over Hotel Dumort.” Raphael answered.

“Are you two okay?”

“We’re unhurt.” Magnus comforted.

“Okay. Magnus, why do you not want Alec to know?”

Magnus shut his eyes and collapsed onto his bed with a loud sigh. “He doesn’t need to know.” He could almost hear Catarina shake her head but he definitely heard Raphael huff.

“Alec is your… whatever he is. He deserves to know. Even if he didn’t,” Catarina pressed. “Actively seeking to keep him, them, in the dark does not sit well with me.”

Pinching his nose, Magnus groaned.

“Catarina is right. Why shouldn’t he know? Why must you bear it all? The Downworlders being unhappy with you is because of him as well –,”

“Exactly, Raphael!” Magnus thumped his fist onto his bed. “If I tell him, he’ll believe us being together is nothing but a colossal mistake and I won’t allow that.”

“Then give me another reason to tell when Lydia asks me.” Catarina countered.

Magnus opens his eyes and stares at his ceiling. “Tell her I’m looking for intel outside of New York City.”

For a minute, no one speaks then Catarina’s voice filters down through the device. “I expect you to text me once every day for my peace of mind, Magnus.”

“Feel free to forget texting me.” Raphael snorted. “I’ll call about the Clan’s decision though.”

“Thank you. Both of you.”

“Don’t thank me, Magnus. I’m your friend and I’ll stand by you.” Catarina offered back.

“ _Ella dice la verdad_. She speaks the truth. I also have your back, _amigo_.”

Magnus ended the call a minute later with a sappy smile on his face, wondering what he did to deserve such good friends. He laid on his back, enjoying the cool silk under his skin and the softness of his bed.

The whole night, he had been constantly on his toes, adrenaline pumping and his heart racing. By now, thankfully, his body had calmed considerably and he found himself sleepily listing off the things he had to do before visiting the Institute to check on Alexander before he left.

It didn’t take long for his exhaustion to take over.

 

*~*~*~*

 

In the sky, the sun shined brightly and the air was crisp and clear. The street where the Institute was situated in was at peace with a well-dressed figure walking slowly to stop at the Church’s doors.

Not even a second later, Alec stormed out, his sister, Clary and even Lydia at his heels. In his haste, he almost crashed into Magnus who was stood just outside the doors but managed to grab the warlock’s elbow and pull them both to each other.

“Alexander!” Magnus’ voice was high, from shock probably. “What’s the hurry?”

“Jace. We have a solid lead on Jace. We’re heading to Pier 15.” Alec said, dragging Magnus along with him as he hailed down a cab. Time was precious. They all clambered in, Magnus almost sitting completely on him with the girls cramping up the rest of the space. Why the girls couldn’t make more space since they were so thin anyway, he didn’t know or care to ask. Besides, Magnus’ weight was rather comforting and assuring after his hazy memory of being kidnapped. And Izzy would most likely retort about her clothes being destroyed or some other thing he wouldn’t be able to relate with.

Lydia was seated in front and she dutifully rattled off the address to the driver. The taxi started moving.

“Glad to see you well, Lydia.” Magnus greeted.

“You too, Magnus.” Lydia looked over her shoulder and flashed a smile.

“I don’t know why it’s always by the pier. What’s with danger and water?” Alec asked irritably, hauling Magnus into him even closer. He buried his head into the warlock’s neck, breathing in the sandalwood shampoo. It calmed him down somewhat.

Magnus chuckled lightly, the vibrations sending a pleasing thrill down Alec’s spine. “Maybe it’s because their headquarters is in a ship, darling.”

“Like you said before but wasn’t sure about it.” Alec mumbled. “You were probably right then.” He got a noncommittal hum in response so he switched the topic to at least alleviate some tension in the car. The girls were too silent or maybe they were just giving them space. “So, what have you been doing?”

“Ah, I was fixing things at my loft.”

“You? Fix things?” A smile made its way onto Alec’s face.

Magnus squirmed to face him, a strained but playful pout making his lower lip jut out. “I’ll have you know I’m not a slob.”

Alec bumped their noses together. “Mm, okay. Thanks for saving me.” He leaned in closer and captured the warlock’s lips, biting and pulling on the bottom lip before going in for a deeper kiss. Magnus’ mouth was all sorts of pleasurable. His lips were plush and soft and inviting, his mouth always so warm and sweet. It felt like heaven.

He wondered how many men and women got to taste these lips.

And he immediately regretted it as a cold sick feeling birthed in his gut. He pulled away, unable to stop the grimace on his face. He tried to remedy the situation by ducking his head but not before he caught the confused and hurt look on Magnus’ face.

Alec didn’t know what to say.

What could he say? That he was feeling unjustly possessive over a centuries old warlock? That he was jealous of how close Magnus was to Raphael? That when he was supposed to be sleeping or resting, all he could think about was how many got to taste and kiss the warlock?

He didn’t want to admit to being childishly jealous or envious. He didn’t want to admit anything.

More than the cold he felt though, he wanted to get rid of the tense atmosphere and not let Magnus keep hurting because of his nonsensical actions. Alec chanced a glance up and blanched. This was, quite possibly, the first time he ever saw Magnus look so guarded and emotionless.

It hurt.

“Mag –,”

“We’re here!” Clary exclaimed.

Alec saw her push Izzy out of the cab in her hurry. His sister didn’t seem to mind though as she simply grabbed onto Clary’s hand to pull her close and stop her from sprinting. He focused back on the warlock and noted with a lurch that Magnus was separating himself from him.

Hurriedly, Alec pulled Magnus back to him. The lead on Jace could wait. Lydia was out there anyway. “Magnus, I’m –,” He stopped abruptly when a slender tan finger hovered over his lips.

“It’s alright, Alec. Let’s talk later if you wish.”

The words were said so coldly and detachedly that Alec froze. He couldn’t make himself move when Magnus left the car to join the girls. The cabbie was questioning him and it was just white noise until he was finally being shouted at. He wondered how many minutes it had been because he couldn’t see the girls or Magnus anymore.

Numbly, he got out of the taxi and waited until it sped off before sprinting up to the observation deck. The whole place was eerily and suspiciously empty.

“Oh my god.” Clary’s exclamation was the first thing he heard when he reached the top.

But soon, everything was white noise again as his eyes widened. Jace. _By the Angel_ , Jace. He felt like he was floating, dreaming. It couldn’t be real but there he was. Jace was stood in the middle of the area with Valentine and a few other Circle members.

Alec felt a slender hand grip his wrist and turned slightly to see the top of Lydia’s head. He understood what she meant by it. They were ridiculously and pathetically outnumbered. This was going to go very badly.

“Jace…” Izzy whispered, almost longingly. Alec could hear the slight tremble in her voice and knew she was struggling to reign in her emotions. Truthfully, he was glad she was being so emotional because one of them had to be and he could channel his need to _feel_ by living vicariously through her.

Magnus was, oddly, in front of all of them as if shielding them.

Alec felt his heart thud uncomfortably and tried to move to stand beside Magnus but Lydia’s grip on his wrist prevented him. He was about to ask her to let go but was stopped when Valentine started speaking

“Clary, so good of you to come.”

Clary bristled, her whole body violently shaking as she stomped her foot on the ground. Her red fiery hair fanned out around her making her seem like a vengeful angel. Alec almost smiled at how fearsome she looked. “Oh, I didn’t come for _you_.” She remarked derisively.

“Yes,” Valentine smiled widely. “You came for Jace, didn’t you?” He stepped forward, laying a hand on Jace’s shoulder. Alec tensed even as Jace’s face remained stoic. “Tell me, _warlock_ , were you the one who disposed of my Forsakens?”

Alec gritted his teeth, personally offended by the way 'warlock' was spat with such disgust and degradation. He almost flinched when Magnus laughed loftily.

“Those things? They were a joke.” Magnus started walking forwards and Alec lunged himself forwards, dragging Lydia along. But suddenly, Izzy was there holding him back with a firm hand on his chest. He breathed harshly, eyes intent on Magnus. “Tell _me_ , Valentine, do you want to make a deal?”

Valentine tilted his head. “Oh? And what deal could you possibly be offering me?”

 

*~*~*~*

 

Magnus stepped forward and stretched his arms out, palms out towards Valentine. In hindsight, he felt regretful for not allowing Alexander to explain why the boy recoiled from their kiss earlier. It hurt to see the disgust in his face but he didn’t want to hear Alexander saying he ultimately couldn’t deal with Magnus being a warlock. Or maybe it was because Jace could have seen them kiss.

He hadn’t wanted to know but now he wished he knew. He wanted closure as he was sure he won’t be able to see his sweet boy anymore unless he was extremely lucky. His magic was low after using so much in the battle against the demons and then saving Alexander from the vampires.

The short sleep he had only allowed him to do enough magic to send his things to his temporary home in the outskirts of Egypt. And even that was too much, causing him to be tired once more. To move about and be here was already noteworthy. Though, it was most likely just adrenaline keeping him upright. Adrenaline and sheer will.

Magnus pushed the tears out of his eyes and looked straight at Valentine’s. He drew himself to his full height and took more steps forwards, not even tensing when the other Circle members started to surround him.

“Me in exchange for blondie.” Magnus declared.

It was mild satisfaction he felt when Jace looked at him like he had grown a second head and he almost smiled in amusement even if he felt rather bitter. If Valentine took the bait, this would be a win-win situation. Jace would be back with his family and the Circle would leave Alexander and the rest unharmed.

“No!” Izzy’s scream was distinct and almost hoarse. Her eyes were wide in horror when Magnus chanced a glance at her. Beside her was Clary who had clasped a hand to her mouth and Lydia who was simply gaping.

“ _Magnus_!”

Magnus flinched involuntarily at Alexander’s voice full of torment. It hurt to think he was doing something to pain his Nephilim but Magnus knew losing Jace was far worse than losing him. And he was too much of a fool when in love to care about sacrificing himself. At least it was on his own terms unlike when Camille kept him around as a pet warlock with manipulative lies.

Besides, whatever Valentine may have been doing to Downworlders in general. He was pretty sure he wasn’t handing over his life – well, he probably was but not for a while. No, he’d be tortured and drugged and bled of his blood and possibly forced to do some magic for the Circle first.

“A warlock at my disposal.” Valentine grinned. “Take him.” He ordered the Circle members before shoving Jace away over towards Alec and the rest.

Jace was still looking too shell-shocked to say anything. Like a cat got his tongue. Normally, it would be funny.

Immediately, Magnus was crowded in on and a blade was pressed to his neck threateningly. He made sure to stay still, not wanting to get wounded by accident. He didn’t know if he had enough magic left in him to heal himself. And he didn’t _want_ to know if he couldn’t heal himself.

“Magnus!” Alexander’s voice was bordering desperate now. “Magnus, don’t do this!”

With a slight gesture to the Circle members, Magnus was allowed to face Alexander once more. His beautiful face was scrunched into anguish and he was being held back by Jace who was looking at Magnus with wide eyes showcasing sadness and determination.

“Magnus.” Alexander whispered.

Magnus smiled. “It’s okay, Alec. You have Jace now.”

Alexander stopped struggling and his blazing eyes rapidly softened into sadness. “Magnus, why?”

For a few seconds, Magnus simply stared. Into those gorgeous hazel eyes and heartbreakingly handsome face that had lit a fire inside his heart, thawing his rapidly freezing soul. “I love you.” He answered simply. As far as confessions went, it wasn’t how he envisioned it but beggars couldn’t be choosers. At least Alexander would know how he felt before he was taken away. That was more important than professing his love perfectly.

Alexander looked stunned for a moment then his face morphed into determination. “I’m coming after you.”

“Don’t.” Magnus sighed softly and his smile turned wistful. “Not everyone you lose is a loss.” He gazed at Alexander, trying to memorise the boy’s face. It was a bit of a challenge with how much Alexander was once more struggling out of Jace’s iron grip.

“While this is all very disgusting and indicative of the blasphemy of the current Nephilim race, we really must be going.” Valentine’s voice boomed over them all.

“Magnus, _please_!”

"Stay strong." Magnus held Alexander’s gaze one last time before he was turned around and marched to the portal alongside Valentine.

“NO! Let go of me! Let go!”

A second away from entering the portal, Magnus closed his eyes. “Goodbye, Alexander.”

“ _MAGNUS_!”

 

*~*~*~*

_Oh, I’m a slave to psychosis, did you notice?_

_No matter what I do I’m a prisoner, regardless._

Blanket – Oh Be Clever

**Author's Note:**

> Le gasp. Magnus has confessed!
> 
> I'd love to hear your thoughts on this fic! So please tell me :)
> 
> I genuinely loved writing this one. Both because of the Magnus & Isabelle friendship scene and also for the self-sacrificing Magnus <3
> 
> So, I've been rather sporadic with my updates. Generally, I try not to go over a week but I'll be going on my internship starting next week and it's on an island. I will have internet, just not sure about my free time. I'll have it figured out by the first week. Probably.
> 
> Kudos and Comments Supremely Appreciated!


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